Relationships that stand the test of time, are generally viewed as successful ones.
But why? Is it because these partners have stronger love for each other, or is it something else?
Many believe it is those partnerships that are willing to work on issues that arise, openly and honestly, that have the best chance for survival.
Firstly, here are 5 of the major issues that can arise in long term relationships:
1. Financial Issues & Stress
Most couples go through periods of stress for some reason or other. These can occur for variety of reasons with the most common being around money. Losing a job, added money worries, or stress at work can affect people in different ways – often leading to conflicts which can bring up other deeper unresolved issues.
2. Opposing Beliefs and Values
The first flush of love is often said to be blind, and in some ways, this can be true, as a person in love does not wish to see anything negative about this new found love. As time passes different situations arise, and each partners beliefs and values will surface, and some may not align, causing friction, and sometimes distress.
3. Dissatisfaction – boredom, jealousy and infidelity
While the romance is young, the relationship is exciting and partners feel like they are in a bubble of love, and that they could stay that way forever. However, each person has to venture into the world, and meet new people, and sometimes the people in the outside world can feel more attractive and interesting than the person you have shared many years with. This can lead to boredom at home, or sometimes infidelity and jealousy.
4. Life changes and family
As one grows as a human being, one changes. There are some particular stages in life which can bring about stress, fear, tension and sometimes depression. Partners can find it hard to go through these transitions. Having children is a joy, but it also can be stressful, and painful at certain times. Seeing them leave for school, and eventually the family home, changes the dynamic in the couple’s relationship. Retiring can also bring mixed emotions of relief, happiness or fear, and can be a confronting time for partners who now face much more face time together.
One cannot avoid trauma in life. Whether it is a death of a loved one, or sickness, or global environmental disasters or accidents. These can cause deep depression which can impact on the relationship in a negative way.
Many of the above issues will confront partners in the course of their relationship. It is how couples handle these challenges that makes the difference to a successful partnership or not. Here are 8 tips to a being in good long-term relationship:
1. Be There
Making time to be with your partner is essential. Problems can arise if one partner feels left alone too much because the other is working long hours where feelings of resentment, boredom, jealousy can occur.
2. Be kind
This is probably the most important of all tips. A little kindness goes a long way in any relationship. This can particularly be very powerful in times of stress, and fear, and sadness.
3. Be a good Listener
Being a good listener allows for insight into your partners feelings, and where you can find a path to resolve issues or differences. Being a compassionate listener shows your respect, love, and willingness to be open to change. Good communication Is the hallmark of great relationships.
4. Be respectful
There is no love without respect. If you cannot show respect to another then the relationship will not have a real future. Your tone of voice; the way you dress; the way you leave your room are all important ways to show your respect. Any early signs of disrespect should be resolved quickly before there is long term damage to the relationship. Sarcasm is a poor choice to show your dissatisfaction, this only brings pain and closes conversations rather than open them.
5. Be supportive
Everyone goes through difficult periods where they need more support. It is up to the partner to give this support when it’s needed. Also, each partner will have their own personal goals and dreams and supporting a partner in these aspirations will bring happiness to the relationship in the long term.
6. Be helpful
Everyday can be a challenge keeping a balance between home and work and family and being helpful in the home can make a big difference to managing that sometimes stressful juggle for each partner. Sometimes it is the little things that matter most.
7. Be fair
This is a partnership. To avoid any feelings of resentment, couples should always behave in a fair and just manner. For example, if both partners are working, home chores it should be shared equally.
8. Be fun
As one grows older, and partners get to know each other almost too well, one needs to keep the relationship exciting and fun. Having date nights, dressing up for events, or seeing interesting movies, or doing something completely new together can remind you of that original spark you had when you first met.
Making your relationships a successful one takes commitment, time, and patience. If you love the one you are with, it is worth making it a priority in your life. If you need help with your relationship, you can contact Mary Jo Rathgeb.